...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
