Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We need to rekindle our bromance
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
