Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Sacagawea was the original milf.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
