I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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