my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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