I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
