My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
