This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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