the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
