the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
