I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We talked him into tasing himself.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
