I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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