so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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