if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
