the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
