i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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