Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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