Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
