Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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