Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
