He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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