they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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