I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize