Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
