I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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