just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize