I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
