i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
In America we eat man semen.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
