i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
