the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
