I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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