I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Randomize
