I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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