why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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