Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
