3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
