Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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