Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
