Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
