he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
