Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
