Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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