She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
