Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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