direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
