summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
