Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
