If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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