So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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