we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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