I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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