he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
