Pregnant stripper...not hot.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
