walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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