Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
