sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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