So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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