dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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