Will you blow on my dice?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
