Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Randomize
