I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
